for adventure and mirth,

I went on a trip to

   the planet called Earth.

Many great wonders

   are there for the seeing.

My favorite? One species,

   the strange "human being".

With very large brains and

   an opposable thumb,

They do much that's smart but

   a lot that's just dumb.

With technical skills,

   they build to the sky!

Their science knows "how",

   just not always "why".

They can conquer disease, or

   make bare land yield clover,

Or succeed to excess till

   there's nothing left over.

Their fire can cook gour-

   met meals, oh so pretty,

Or incinerate millions

   who live in a city.

Highways and freeways,

   so many they've got.

Each serves many autos...

   as a great parking lot!

Unique amongst creatures,

   from north on to south,

The human can speak and

   put foot into mouth!

Humans are blessed with

   the powers creative,

From sophisticate artist

   to innocent native.

Shakespearean sonnets,

   analysis Freudian.

The lit'rature most read?

   Newspapers tabloidian!

Rembrandt, the portrait;

   Picasso, the cube.

Most popular artform?

   'Tis called the "boob tube".

Mozart, grand opera;

   and Brahams, lullaby.

Most eminent music?

   One "Louie, Lou-i"!

Young men like driving

   their cars and their scooters.

But what drives young men are

   some things they call "hooters"!

Many young women

   seek boys who are "bad",

Before settling down with

   one more like their dad.

Somehow, by means known

   to the Lord up above,

Ladies and gents may

   fall truly in love.

Couples first take in

   the falls of "Niagra".

Later they take in

   blue pills of "Viagra".

They love their dear babies,

   through colic and croup,

Through cuddling and cooing,

   and copious poop!

Children are taught much

   at home and in schools,

And learn life in daydreams

   and sandlots and pools.

Fam'lies do struggle,

   through all sorts of weather,

Working apart to

   spend more time together.

Most people toil

   but by some strange quirk,

Those who get least

   often do the most work.

Faith in a God-head

   keeps most people sane,

Though opposing beliefs may

   turn sacred profane.

Lust for more power

   may put war in their head.

Some fight for peace. I

   hope not all end up dead.

They may disagree and

   may like to "kick butts",

Each apt to be thinking,

   "The other guy's nuts!"

But sometimes they say, "Let's

   be 'Us', not just 'Me'."

And only together

   can they each be free.

My faith is that Earthlings

   will survive quite a while,

As long as they take life

   with some salt and a smile!