DEMOCRACY:
Government & Politics | December 2, 2005
THE
WIT
& WISDOM
OF
TOM
DELAY
(A
LITTLE
LEVITY
& SOME
SERIOUS
BUSINESS)
By
Douglas Drenkow, Editor of "Progressive
Thinking" As
Posted in "OpEdNews",
"Comments
From Left Field", & "GordonTalk"
These "gems" have
been making the rounds in cyberspace, but I thought them just
too "good" to be true ... until I found some
(generally reliable) sources cited by political humorist Daniel
Kurtzman in good ol' About.com.
So now -- without further "delay" -- is an apparently
accurate look inside the wickedly twisted mind of one of our
favorite indicted GOP co-conspirators, The Honorable (puhleeze)
Tom DeLay:
"So many minority youths had volunteered, that there was
literally no room for patriotic folks like myself." -- Tom
DeLay, explaining at the 1988 GOP convention why he and vice
presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War
(Source: Houston
Press, as cited in Slate)
"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" --
Tom Delay, to three young hurricane victims from New Orleans at
the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005 (Source: Houston
Chronicle Domeblog)
"I AM the federal government." -- Tom DeLay, to the
owner of Ruth's Chris Steak House, after being told to put out
his cigar because of federal government regulations banning
smoking in the building, May 14, 2003 (Source: Washington
Post)
"We're no longer a superpower. We're a super-duper
power." -- Tom DeLay, explaining why America must topple
Saddam Hussein in 2002 interview with Fox News (Source: AlterNet)
"Nothing is more important in the face of a war than
cutting taxes." -- Tom DeLay, March 12, 2003 (Source: The
New Yorker)
"Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence.
The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their
kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and
working mothers who take birth control pills." -- Tom DeLay,
on causes of the Columbine High School massacre, 1999 (Source: AlterNet)
"A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to
provide structure. To provide stability. Not that a woman can't
provide stability, I'm not saying that. ... It does take a
father, though." -- Tom DeLay, in an interview on the radio
program "Roll Call," Feb. 10, 2004 (Source: Planned
Parenthood)
"I don't believe there is a separation of church and state.
I think the Constitution is very clear. The only separation is
that there will not be a government church." -- Tom DeLay
(date unspecified) (Source: ExterminateTomDelay.com)
"Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by
on $4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist.
Fortunately, such families do not exist." -- Tom DeLay,
during a debate in Congress on increasing the minimum wage,
April 23, 1996 (Source: TomPaine.com)
"I am not a federal employee. I am a constitutional
officer. My job is the Constitution of the United States, I am
not a government employee. I am in the Constitution." --
Tom DeLay, in a CNN interview, Dec. 19, 1995 (Source: Wikipedia)
And this ethically and intellectually indigestible digest of Tom
DeLayisms is usually capped by a punchline that goes something
like this: "So you see, my friends, there is a reason Tom
DeLay is one of the most popular men in Washington. He makes the
president look slightly less stupid by comparison!"
Buh-dum-bum.
(To review some not-so-humorous escapades of one of the formerly
most powerful people in America, you might want to read my
articles "No DeLay" and "Tom DeLay, Russian
Patsy?" in GordonTalk.com)
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